Well I turned 13 7 years ago
that was the first time I felt I didn't have a home
cuz razor blades and pairs of siccors strung out on my desk
and when I told you you but them in the closet
next to a notebook where I would pour my love
you took it away from me but I didn't give it up
and now I wish that I could read those love letters I wrote
her handwriting was atrocious but it made me comfortable

and I spent three years just holding on for dear life
I spent the next three after that just trying to make this life mine
I started smoking cigarettes and I started doing drugs
I would do anything to fill the hole that once housed your love

and then I went to college and things started getting worse
I cut off contact and I started drinking more
and I think it helped for a little while Christine would help me through the pain
but then I'd wake up so hungover and full of hate
and my dad thinks I don't like him and I can't say that's not true
cuz after everything that's happened it's getting harder to forgive you
and my sisters are moving far away I think they're trying to keep their distance
they've been warned what I might say by my parents

and I spent three years just holding on for dear life
I spent the next three after that just trying to make this life mine
I started smoking cigarettes and I started doing drugs
I would do anything to fill the hole that once housed your love

and I know you know all about Victoria
and I know you know everything I was keeping secret
underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems
dad that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen

and now I'm disconnected with everyone I love
I started playing it off like I was cooler and tough
I started rolling with the wrong crowd doing drugs
I started hating myself instead of picking you up
and now I am pushing away everyone that I love
I started telling myself that I was more than enough
I started rolling with the wrong crowd killing cops
I started hating myself instead of falling in love
and now I'm disconnected with everyone I love
I started playing it off like I was cooler and tough
I started rolling with the wrong crowd doing drugs
I started hating myself instead of picking you up
and now I am pushing away everyone that I love
I started telling myself that I was more than enough
I started rolling with the wrong crowd killing cops
I started hating myself instead of falling in love

and I know you know all about Victoria
and I know you know everything I was keeping secret
underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems
dad that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen
and I know you know all about Victoria
and I know you know everything I was keeping secret
underneath the surface it's much more than what it seems
dad that's the saddest smile that I think I've ever seen